i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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