I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
