I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
