I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
