did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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