And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Your dad touched me again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
