new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
