He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
