We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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