roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she smelled like a LAN party
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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