somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
