I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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