Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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