Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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