Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
