he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
