i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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