At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
