You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
