He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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