You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
