I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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