I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
