Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
