She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
