Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
