I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
