Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So much rum. So many feels.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
