just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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