Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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