I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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