She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
