question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize