We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
