Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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