there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
