The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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