Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
now i know why i became what i already was.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
