I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
