He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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