Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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