he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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