Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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