It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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