u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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