I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
