...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
