oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ladies don't puke and tell
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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