guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
did i walk over a car last night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
