Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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