oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
